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Page 12 POST-GAZETTE, MARCH 29, 2013 Ray Darron's 11 O'CLOCK NEW5 Grave matters! The widow of an Indiana man is suing a Catholic church that wouldn't allow his couch-shaped headstone in its graveyard. Shannon Carr says her husband loved nothing more than to sit on his couch watching NASCAR and football. The Rev. Jonathan Meyer, however, said the granite couch was not "an appropriate monument in our historic cemetery." Weird! A Wisconsin man tried to bring back a faulty printer to Walmart, where store workers found the device jammed with a sheet of counterfeit $100 bills. Police were called and allegedly found another $300 in homemade money on Jarad Carr, 37. Not a good week for Taylor Swift, after hun- dreds of pieces of her fan mail were found unopened in a dumpster near her office in Nashville. A spokesman said that mail the singer's managers had intended to give her "was accidentally put with letters headed for the recycling center." Moron! "Cannibal Cop" Gilberto Valle was convicted by a federal jury in Manhattan of plotting to kidnap, cook and eat women in a case that centered on the line between fan- tasy and crime. The former New York City police officer was also found guilty of using a department database to access information on his targets. Valle, 28, faces up to life in prison for his gruesome plans, was discov- ered on his laptop by his now-estranged wife. The computer was loaded with pictures of dead, mutilated and sexually assaulted women, as well as Google searches for "how to kidnap a woman" and "human meat reci- pes." The defense argued that Valle never intended to act on his cannibal fetish. "These are thoughts, very ugly thoughts, but we don't prosecute people for their thoughts," said Valle's lawyer, Julia Gastto, who cried along with her client after the verdict was aannounced. Not for individuals with weak stomachs! A Polish man impaled his head on a screw- driver, but only realized it later, when he saw himself in his rearview mirror. "I don't remember what happened that day," said the 25-year-old, who doesn't want to be named. "At some point when I was working in my garden I slipped and fell down." Only later, after feeling some pain, did the man notice he had a screwdriver in his forehead. Sur- geons removed the tool, which went in two inches deep but somehow missed his brain. Unbelievable! Online bidding has topped $100,000 for the rights to spend a night with a new, hyper-realistic sex doll in Brazil. "Valentina," her manufacturers say, is cov- ered in a high-tech fabric that closely mim- ics the feel of human skin and also features "green eyes, fleshy lips, full breasts and a body that inspires envy in all women." The winning bidder will be flown to Brazil, spend a night with Valentina in the Presidential Suite of a Sao Paulo hotel after a candle- light dinner and be given a digital camera so the lucky man can show to his friends. No horsing around! The sale of horsemeat in France has jumped about 15 percent in recent weeks, as news about horse being found in frozen prepared meals rekindles interest among French men and women who ate horse in their childhoods. There are about 700 remaining horse butcher shops in France, so reports The Wall Street Journal. Inside story. Up to 6,000 patients a year leave U.S. operating rooms with surgical sponges, forceps and other surgical tools mis- takenly left inside them. The error is usu- ally not detected until the patient develops a life-threatening infection. Ouch! Uncanny wedding vows! Every day around the world, some 39,000 girls under the age of 18 are forced into marriage, with their families often selling them off for dowries -- often to much older men. "They're rolling up the welcome mat at the White House," said Joseph Straw in the New York Daily News. As part of the $85 billion in mandatory cuts called "sequestration," the Obama administration has canceled all pub- lic tours of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The move, said the White House, would save 874,000 a week on Secret Service staffing. Be aware, the poorest 25 percent of Americans O O O spend 16.1 , percent of their income on food, while the wealthiest 25 percent spend just 11.6 percent. The wealthiest however, spend five times as much money as the poorest on dining out. A recent poll showed 52% of American Catholics think the church is out of touch with them. 62% want the Pope to change the church's stance on celibacy for priests and the ordination of women and 64% want the ban on contraception lifted. 81% want the Pope to do more to combat sexual abuse. The poll was taken by Quinnipiac Univer- sity. Another poll showed 64% of American adults say sports figures have a greater in- fluence on society than clergy or other faith leaders. 19% say religious leaders have more influence than athletes. ShameT Women still earn more than $10,000 a year less than their male coun- terparts, according to U.S. Census data. The disparity is greatest in Provo, Utah, where women's pay in 2011 was just 61.6 percent of men's, and the median income for women was nearly $20,000 less. Huh? Americans are less active than ever. A new government study found that people's sedentary time outside of work increased by about 40 percent between 1965 and 2009. On average, Americans take 5,117 steps a day -- far fewer than the 10,000 recom- mended by the American Heart Association. Get walkingl What's new? Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Tacos are a huge hit. The fast-food chain sold 372 million last year or more than 1 million a day, boosting store sales by 8 per- cent; the company had to add 15,000 jobs to handle the growth. Carlo Scostumato says he doubts if Italian Americans go for Tacos. "We eat pizza, pizza, pizza!" Giuseppina, Cosce Storte says, she would enjoy a trip to Mars only if Bella Culo of Chestnut Hill would accompany her. "Bella Culo is a good cook!" Hand salute! Ed Bray is a World War II vet- eran with two Purple Hearts and a dozen other medals, but the toughest battle he ever fought has been with illiteracy. The war hero, 89, kept his inability to read or write secret for eight decades. But since his wife died in 2009, Bray has been learning and last week he read his first-ever book, a third- grade-level biography of George Washington. He hopes his story will encourage other se- cret illiterates to get help. "Get in there and learn baby -- nowt" he said. "You ain't going to learn in that pine box." One of our buddies in World War II was an illiterate from Mississippi who bluffed his way into the Army. We wound up reading his letters to him from his family and writ- ing his letters to them. Reminder! The Bank of America, the larg- est bank in America was established in 1904 by Amadeo Pietro ("A.P.") Giannini in San Francisco. It was originally called the Bank of Italy. Giannini financed the Golden Gate Bridge and also Cecil B. DeMille's "Ten Com- mandments" and Disney's "Snow White." Show biz reminiscing with the stately mu- sicologist Albert Natale. Gian Carlo Menotti is the first composer to write American op- eras that have become part of the interna- tional repertory. Among his famous works are "The Consul" (1950); "The Medium" and "The Telephone" (1947). "Amahl and the Night Visitors" (1951) and "The Saint of Bleeker Street" won him Pulitzer prizes. "AmahF was the first opera ever televised while "The Consulm" "The Medium" and "The Telephone" were produced on Broad- way. Menotti also founded the Festival of Two Worlds in Spoleto (1958) and its American counterpart in Charleston (1977) which cel- ebrates western music. Though he was born in Italy in 1911, he came to the U.S. when he was only 17 and made his career here. AMERICA IS l BEAUTIFUL ITALIAN NAME Recipes from the Homeland by Vita Orlando Sinopoli COPYRIGHT, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED SICILIAN 1 jar Sicilian green olives* 2 stalks celery chopped 1 large onion chopped 1 large garlic clove minced 1 tablespoon oregano GREEN OLIVE SALAD 2 tablespoons olive, canola, or vegetable oil 2 tablespoons cider vinegar Salt *Sicilian green olives are not usually found pitted. To pit olives, use a paring knife to cut olive meat from olive pit. Another method is to place each olive, one by one, on a cutting board. Using a wooden mallet, hit the olive so that the meat separates and exposes the olive pit. Place olive meat in a large bowl. Add chopped celery, onion and minced garlic to the olives and mix. Sprinkle oregano, oil and cider vinegar over the mixture and mix thoroughly. Additional oregano, oil, vin- egar or salt may be added. When kept in a clean covered jar or bowl this salad stores well for a lengthy time in refrig- erator. This salad is ready for serving within thirty min- utes of preparation. NOTE: In my childhood, I remember my father buying a large wooden box of shiny light green olives from the produce mar- ket. The large quantity was to be shared with aunts who lived nearby. The women knew how much water and salt were needed to soak the olives and how long before they could be ready for this special Sicilian salad. In 1931, when my parents took the family to Sicily to meet our paternal grandmother, my brother Peter and I had the privi- lege of going to the olive groves with our relatives to harvest olives. As a six-year-old, I thought of it as a picnic day under the beautiful but old craggy-looking olive trees. We ate lunch and stayed most of the day before returning in the horse-drawn carts. Another day, Papa and his brother-in-law, Uncle Nino, took us to a processing plant near their hometown. There we saw olives that had been crushed, processed and stored in huge containers. The scent of olive oil was so strong in that small, cold processing plant that it made my eyes tear. I wanted to rush out into the flesh air. My love for the green olives and the olive oil extracted from them grew from that experience. 7 00lu00o00ri - 00tappy 00aster kic #017936 Mechamca] Heating & Air Conditioning Sales, Service & Installation Ken Shallow 617.593.6211 kenskjs@aol.com M From 00003akery Perch Ist Generation Italian-American Vita Orlando Sinopoli Shares with us a delightful recollection of her memories as a child growing up in Boston's "Little Italy" and a collection of Italian family recipes from the homeland. Great as Gifts FROM MY BAKERY PERCH available on AMAZON.COM and in local bookstores -- ask for Hard cover #1-4010-9805-3 ISBN Soft Cover #1-4010-9804-5 ISBN