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Page 12 POST-GAZETTE, APRIL 26, 2013 Ray Barron's 11 O'CLOCK NEW5 Slip of the tongue! Michelle Obama acci- dentally referred to herself as a "busy single mother" during a TV interview. The First Lady quickly corrected her Freudian slip, noting that "sometimes when you've got the husband who's president it can feel a little were both cremated and last heard, their ashes are in an urn at I 0 0 0 single, but he's there." Carlo Scostumato claims the tongues of some folks are like a friendly dog's tail -- always wagging. Deadly news! The terminally unpopular, can now hire weeping professional grievers for wakes and funerals from British startup Rent-A- Mourner. The company says its actors, who cost $68 per head, will read up on the deceased's life story "so they can converse with other mourners with confidence." WowI An Ohio kindergartner was sus- pended for coming to school with a Mohawk haircut. The school superintendent said 5-year-old Ethan Clos's hair -- which the boy thinks is "cool" -- violated prohibitions on "dress or grooming which is disruptive to the educational process." He is requiring Clos to shave off the Mohawk before return- ing to school. Moronl A drunken British tourist forced a plane from Cancun to London to make an emergency landing in Florida when he allegedly took a swing at every passenger who looked at him. When last seen, Scan Kelly was shadowboxing alone in an Orlando jail cell, shouting, "Let's have a goF Heavy drinkers have what is known as saloon arthritis -- every night they get stiff in a different joint. The astute Robyn Waters of Swampscott, says, "The driver who has "one for the road" will have state troopers as a chaser." And Robyn's brilliant loving husband Paul, says, "Drivers are safer when highways are dry, and highways are safer when drivers are dry." Achtung! A secret Greek government report leaked to the press says that Ger- many owes Greece some $200 billion in World War II reparations -- nearly enough to solve the Greek debt crisis. The report, the Boston Public Library. Getting stoned! For the first time, a majority of Americans -- 52% -- favor the legalization of marijuana. Support for legal- ization has risen from 41% in 2010. A recent poll disclosed 34% of American adults favor making Christianity their state's official religion and 32% would sup- port a constitutional amendment making it the official religion. Bella Culo of Chestnut Hill says she heard Giuseppina, Cosce Storte say, "Thank God I'm an atheist!" How can you be an atheist if you say, "Thank God?" Ouchl The number of lawyers command- ing fees of more than $1,500 an hour has doubled since this time last year, but they're having to offer deep discounts to draw clients. Many firms now collect less than 85 cents for every dollar's worth of standard billing time, a "historic low." In 2007 they were averaging 92 cents to the dollar. According to Mother Superior Frances Fitzgerald, Moses was a great law giver. The way he was satisfied to keep the Ten Com- mandments short and to the point shows clearly that he was not an ordinary lawyer. Wee bit of Italian-American history. John Ciardi, poet and scholar, did the only English translation of Dante's Divine Comedy that reproduces the Italian poet's complex rhyme scheme. Ciardi was also a poet in his own right, wrote some 60 books, taught at Harvard and Rutgers Universities, hosted a weekly radio commentary on National Pub- lic Radio in the 1980's and was the only American poet ever to have his own televi- sion program {"Accent," CBS, 1961-61). Ciardi was born in Boston in 1916, son of Italian immigrants and died in 1986. And Pietro di Donato wrote Christ in Concrete (1939), one of the few proletarian novels written by a blue collar worker. The son of Recipes from the Homeland by Vita Orlando Sinopoli COPYRIGHT, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Calamari (Squid) in Tomato Sauce Over Linguine 14 ounces crushed tomatoes 1 medium chopped onion 1 large chopped garlic clove (optional) 1/4 cup olive, canola or vegetable oil 1 teaspoon dried basil or two fresh basil leaves 2 pounds already cleaned calamari (squid) 3 tablespoons white or red wine of choice 1 pound of linguine grated Romano or Parmesan cheese Heat oil in skillet, add chopped onion, garlic (optional), and basil. Simmer until onion is opaque. Garlic should not brown. Add crushed tomatoes and stir thoroughly. Cover and simmer sauce until it comes to a slow boil. Lower heat and simmer for about twenty minutes. Stir occasionally to prevent sauce from sticking to the bottom of skillet. If mix- ture appears to be too thick, add a half-cup of water and stir. Cut tentacles from calamari if not already separated. Wash and cut each calamari into approximately one-inch widths. Do not cut lengthwise. A small calamari should give about three portions. Wash both thoroughly. Set aside in a bowl. When sauce has simmered about twenty minutes, add calamari and tentacles. Then stir and cover. Simmer calamari in sauce for about five minutes. Do not overcook. calamari will become tough if cooked too long. Cover and remove skillet from heat until you are ready to cook pasta. Cook linguine, or pasta of your choice, according to the directions on the package. While pasta is cooking, return calamari sauce mixture to burner to reheat slowly. Add three tablespoons of red or white wine of choice. Bring to a slow boil. Turn off burner and remove from heat. Place cooked and strained pasta onto a serving platter and top with tomato sauce, calamari, and grated cheese of choice. OPTIONAL: Adding additional calamari to the sauce will allow some to be served with the pasta and some separately with a fresh green salad. Remaining sauce freezes well. Serves two. NOTE: In the 1930s, I remember my mother standing at the sink removing the thin layer of outer skin and the inner por- tions of the squid. She removed the tentacles and placed them in a separate bowl. When I asked if she was throwing the tentacles away she quickly replied. " Not Sono buoni!" (They are good!) Mama was right. I always include them in the sauce. commissioned by the Finance Ministry, calculates the value of property and other damage suffered by Greece during the war, as well as the zero-interest loans Greece was forced to give the Nazi regime. The major Greek daily To Vima carried a summary of the findings with the splashy headline "What Germany Owes Us." Most independent analysts, though, believe those claims are not valid under international law. What a dummyl A Florida-man ended up in the hospital after his plan for a hot shave blew up in his face. Emergency workers rushed to the scene of a reported explosion and found a 50-year-old standing in the street with a gash under one eye and white foam on his shirt. The man told them that he wanted a hot shave, so he heated a can of shaving foam on his stove. The can exploded into shards of aluminum. "Not a good idea, in my estimation," said Fire Chief Dave Mixson. Pigging out! The pork industry is renam- ing various cuts of meat to give them "con- sumer-friendly" names. The National Pork Board has been given approval from the USDA to rename pork chops "porterhouse chops," "rib eye chops," and "New York chops," depending on the cut, while pork butt -- which is from the shoulder -- will be labeled "Boston roast." Pardon me, but what is a "Boston roast?" Burning news! For every deceased person who is buried, four are now cremated. Speaking of cremation, many, many Hollywood stars have been cremated such as, William Powell, Myrna Loy, Barbara Stanwyck, Vincent Price, Steve Mcueen, Robert Mitchum, Veronica Lake, ViIliam Powell, Charles Bickford, Alfred Hitchcock, Dick Haymes, Greta Garbo, Marvin Gaye, Henry Fonda, Jill Ireland, Edward R. lIurrow, Ann Harding, Inger Stevens, Wally Cox, Yul Brynner, Charles Bickford, Bud Abbott, Desi Arnaz and Jean Arthur. Nicola Sacco and. Bartolomeo Vanzetti an Italian immigrant and himself a brick- layer,father,hewhoCapturedwas foremanthe life ofanda constructiondeath of his crew of Italian immigrants. One more time! Helen Barolini is an award-winning novel- ist, critic, translator and essayist and one of the first to write a novel about contempo- rary Italian-American women (Umbertina, 1979). Some show business reminiscing with the great musicologist and philanthropist, Albert Natale. Singer Andy Williams began in a church choir with his three brothers. One of the all-time film mysteries is the persist- ing story that Andy dubbed Lauren Bacall's voice in "To Have And Have Not" when he was 15 back in 1945. Singer Cilla Black was a hat-check girl at the Cavern, where the Beatles first appeared. She was the only girl singer to emerge from Liverpool during Beatlemania. "You're My World," by Cilla, scored big. One more time! John Williams, who succeeded Arthur Fiedler as conductor of the Boston Pops, is, not surprisingly, from a musical family. His father, Johnny Williams, played drums with Raymond Scott in the 1930s. John is best known as com- poser of soundtrack music from films such as "Jaws" (1975), "Star Wars," "Close Encounters of The Third Kind" (1977) and "Superman" (1979). Useless information! Hindu men once believed it to be unlucky to marry a third time. They could avoid misfortune by mar- rying a tree first. The tree (the third wife) was then burned, freeing the man to marry again. Husbands and wives in India who desire children whisper their wish in the ear of a sacred cow. And a third of Taiwan- ese funeral processions include a stripper. Thirteen people a year are killed by vend- ing machines falling on them. Your statis- tical chance of being murdered is one in twenty thousand. And two out of five husbands tell their wives daily that they love them. AMERICA IS l BEAUTIFUL ITALIAN NAME Editorial (Continued from Page 3) Internet and of course his free lawyer. Finally, back here in Boston, will we ever know who else might have been involved? Were these broth- ers part of a sleeper cell? How many more of these cells are out there inactive at the moment but waiting to strike? The purpose of a terror act is clear. It is to put people on notice that terrorists can strike any place at any time and you can't stop them. A terrorist's most lethal weapon is fear and panic. Killings and injuries are collateral damage. When a recent newspaper ran that page one headline, "The nightmare is over," it was nothing more than false security. The nightmare lives on as long as we over- look the obvious, that terror- ists shouldn't be Mirandized. They are not crooks, they are far worse. M0000al,ery Perch VITA 01tLANDO [NOPOLI 1st Generation Italian-American Vita Orlando Sinopoli Shares with us a delightful recollection of her memories as a child growing up in Boston's "Little Italy" and a collection of Italian family recipes from the homeland. Great as Gifts FROM MY BAKERY PERCH available on AMAZON.COM and in local bookstores -- ask for Hard cover #1-4010-9805-3 1SBN Soft Cover #1-4010-9804-5 ISBN