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Page2 POST-GAZETTE,-AUGgST 9, 2013 by Prof. Edmund Nostra Turiello A weekly column highlighting some of the more interesting aspects of our ancestry...our lineage...our roots. CHESTER A. ARTHUR DATE OF BIRTH: October 5, 1829 PLACE OF BIRTH: Fairfield, VT DATE OF DEATH: November 18, 1886 PLACE OF DEATH: New York City, NY SPOUSE: Ellen Herndon PRF_ IDEICr: September 19, 1881 - March 4, 1885 A lawyer, a teacher and a principal of a school, As a Phi Beta Kappa this mart was no fool: Chester A. Arthur, C.E.O. twentg-one, Became President when Garfield succumbed to the gun. Fought the Civil War as a Quartermaster, Because of his efforts the troops mooed much faster; Later was collector for the Port of New York, This was the job that controlled all that pork. Was a much better President than was generally expected, Any thought of patronage was summarily rejected; He enforced or enacted many treaties and bills, But right to the end left his party in chills. Wife was Ellen L. Herndon from F-Yedericks, PA, Had a dad in the Navy who was always away; When he was not on a ship afloat on the seas, He was down in the Amazon inspecting the trees. We are told that dear Ellen was a real southern belle, Beautiful, cultivated and elegant as all hell; She died of pneumonia in the year 1880 Consequently she never became a First Lady. Mrs. John McElroy, Chet's sister was she, Subbed as First Lady when the need was to be; When in the White House there was no need for fear, As long as they knew that McElroy was near. J COME CHECK US OUT!L @el,6 ra cSalon TO SHOW OUR GRATITUDE ENJOY $5.00 OFF YOUR NEXT SERVICE. WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS. Stylists Shaida - Kristin - Jenna - Michele HAIR 26 Parmenter Street MAKE-UP THREADING North End, Boston WAXING 617.726.1511 KERATIN TREATMENT (- EAST BOSTON SATELLITE OFFICE NOW OPEN MARIE MATARESE 35 Bennington Street, East Boston 617.227.8929 TUES. 10:00 A.M. - 3.00 P.M. THURS. 11:00 A.M.- 2:00 P.M. Publica by David Thtmbull So You Think You're Funny "...one must bear con- stantly in mind the fact that there are two separate and distinct parties, the Republicans and the Demo- crats. The trick comes in telling which is which. As a general rule, the Republi- cans are more blonde than Democrats." --Robert Benchley. It's just too hot out to argue politics. So I'm not writing about the mayoral race -- honestly, I have no idea for whom to vote. Nor shall I hold forth on the state of the Commonwealth under Gov- ernor Patrick or the Repub- lic under President Obama -- where are we going and what am I doing in this hand-basket? No, I shan't write at all, rather I invite you to write. The deadline to enter the 2013 competition for the Robert Benchley Society Humor Award is August 30, 2013. The award ceremony will be in Boston, November 22 - 24, 2013. All you have to do to win is Send in an original, humor- ous essay of 500 words or less. The judging is done blind (some have accused the judges of being blind drunk), meaning the judges don't know who the entrants are, so that amateur, semi- professional and professional writers compete on a level playing field. This year's final judge is Dr. Gina Barreca, author of It's Not That I'm Bitter: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World, who has appeared on 20/20, The Today Show, CNN, the BBC, NPR, Oprah and Dr. Phil to discuss gender, power, politics and humor. Her ear- lier books include the best- selling They Used to Call Me Snow White But I Drifted: Women's Strategic Use of Humor, Babes in Boyland: A Personal History of Coeduca- tion in the Ivy League and six other books she's writ- ten. Gina, whose columns from The Hartford Courant are distributed worldwide by the McClatchy-Tribune Syndicate, is Professor of English and Feminist Theory at the University of Con- necticut. Her B.A. is from Dartmouth College, where she was the first woman to be named Alumni Scholar, her M.A. is from Cambridge University, where she was a Reynold's Fellow and her Ph.D. is from the City Uni- versity of New York, where she lived close to a good deli- catessen. Gina can be found in the Library of Congress or in the make-up aisle of Walgreens. For more information or to enter the contest, visit w ww. robertbenchley, org. The deadline to enter is August 30th. "Republicans (a clever combination of two Latin words, res and publicae, meaning "things of the pub- lic') and the Democrats (from the Greek demos, meaning something which I will look up before this goes to the printer's) " -- Robert Benchley East Boston Kiwanis Club to Honor Carol Simpson as 'Kiwanian of the Year' The Kiwanis Club of East Boston will honor long-time member Carol Simpson as the 2013 "Kiwanian of the Year" with a special celebration on Friday, September 20th at Spinelli's Function Facility in Day Square, East Boston. Ms. Simpson is currently a member of the Kiwanis Club board of directors, a past club treasurer and a member of numerous com- munity service project committees, such as the Bicycle Safety Rodeo, the Belle Isle Marsh Cleanup and many event planning committees. She is a long-time official at the East Boston Savings Bank. Tickets to the Kiwanian of the Year cel- ebration feature a plated Prime Rib dinner; tables of 10 can be reserved. For tickets, contact event co-chair Marisa DiPietro at 617-650-3442 or mdipietro@ebsoc.org, club president Ed Coletta at 617-797-2683 or Edmund.coletta@gmail.com, or club treasurer Bill Chisholm at 1-339-226-1029 or bigbiitwjc@verizon, net. Club membership is also publishing a commemorative souvenir program and advertising booklet for this special occasion. The booklet will be distributed at the dinner and throughout the East Boston com- munity. Ads can be reserved by contact- ing: event co-chair Deborah Jackson at djackson@ebsb.com, Alba Medina at amedina@ebsb.com or by calling Buddy Mangini at 1-857-615-2549. The ad dead- line is Friday, September 6th. Ads and payment for dinner tickets may be sent to: East Boston Kiwanis Club, P.O. Box 83, East Boston, MA 02128. Please make checks out to: Kiwanis Club of East Boston. The Kiwanis Club of East Boston is an or- ganization of volunteers dedicated to chang- ing the world one child and one community at a time through community service. on the Prado NEAD, NEMPAC & My Summer in the City present "Magic Night on the Prado" with Peter O'Malley. The free event happens on Friday, August 9th, from 6:15-8:15 pro. All are wel- come to come and learn about magic. A free kids craft will begin at 5:30 pm. For more information call 617-227-8929